Mar 03

Overcoming Anxiety Leads to Success

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Anxiety is the result of either a) not believing you can achieve your goals successfully or b) having a fear of not achieving your goals. Either can stop you in your tracks when it comes to being successful.

Worrying is not anxiety, but it can accompany being anxious. Ultimately, what anxiety does as well is distracts you from your stated goal.

You must plot your course for success. If you have your goals well-defined and your “insurance policies” in place (such as friends who can encourage you, experts in your chosen field who can guide you, etc.), anxiety and worry don’t have much room to take root. If you are a negative person, however, you can give birth to these twins without much effort.

If you don’t believe in your goals or don’t believe you can achieve them, your attitude will determine your level of success. And that’s where worry and anxiety come in to roost.

Your first step in overcoming anxiety is to make sure you have your goals written down – or at least, entered in a PDA where you can easily retrieve them and view them regularly. If you can see your goals and the small steps you’ll take to achieve them (and have a check-mark system to chart your progress), pull it out and read over it when you begin to feel anxious.

The second step is to correct your attitude. If you dwell in the “I can’t” and “I’ll never,” you’re right – you can’t and you’ll never. Instead, you need to dismiss those thoughts and consider what you have already accomplished and what next goal your series of baby steps will achieve. We go back to the truth “attitude is everything.”

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Henry Ford famously said, “Either you think you can or you think you can’t. Either way, you’re right.” On this point, I think he was correct. As an inventor, he had the opportunity to dwell on all the times his Quadricycle prototypes failed.

Instead, he moved on, learning from the failures and mistakes. He didn’t let a bad prototype stand in his way of succeeding. He overcame any anxiety and worry with positive attitude and a gritty determination.

The final step to overcoming anxiety is to have those around you who can encourage you. I touched on this when discussing setting your goals and making sure that you have the appropriate support system around you. Anxiety and worry rarely come to a party of more than one – they like to torment individuals. Two or three people have the benefit of seeing different angles of a challenge and being positive about the outcome. So if you find yourself worrying or anxious, tap your support system. Don’t do it at 3:00 in the morning (your support system won’t be very supportive at that hour!), but do it as soon as it’s practical. You’ll thank yourself and continue on towards your goal.

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Mar 02

6.5 Benchmarks for Success

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Road to success
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Look for these things and consider them well as you walk your road to success:

  1. Know that Failure is Just an Event. I’ve talked about this at length previously, but it bears repeating. If you fail, it doesn’t define you – it just puts you back at ‘square one’ with your idea and plan.
  2. Consider Your Responsibilities Before Your Rights. Our American culture drums it in to us that we must “have it now,” and many of us comply. You are successful when you are mature enough to delay gratification and move your focus from your “rights” to your “responsibilities.”
  3. Fill Up on Faith, Hope, & Love. Your outlook determines your output, and your output determines your outcome. Choose to be optimistic, to read uplifting books, to listen to inspirational speakers. When you put faith, hope, and love in your mind and heart, you’re able to overcome adversity and live free from anger, greed, guilt, and envy.
  4. Make Friends with Your Past – and then Look Ahead. You can use your past as a stepping stone to your future or you can let it cripple you. Either way, it’s your choice. When you can make friends with your past, be focused on the present, and have a bright opinion of your future, you have succeeded, no matter what your goal is.
  5. Know that Success Doesn’t Make You. Along with the idea above, understanding that a win doesn’t make you and a loss doesn’t break you. If you win, you’ll still have more wins to make before you “arrive,” and if you lose, you’ll have more opportunities to turn that around in the future.
  6. Stand up for Morality. If you take a stand for what is right, even if it’s unpopular or costs you your job, you are successful. There is no disputing this fact.

    6.5 Be a “Servant Friend.” Success isn’t defined by how many people wait on your every whim or need; it’s defined by how many people you can help or serve while you achieve your goals. If you can help others as you climb, you’ll learn more and climb quicker. A servant’s heart is the true hallmark of a leader and shows the character of the person in the position of leadership.

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Mar 01

Success Requires Having the Right Skills

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Attitude is incredibly important as you consider the topic of success. But even the most enthusiastic and overtly positive individual selling appliances, for example, will fall short of his/her goal of success if s/he isn’t educated about what is being sold and obtains the right skills.

You don’t have to have a Master’s degree in order to be successful – you don’t even have to have a Bachelor’s degree! Some of the least-successful people I know have advanced degrees, but the education does them no good, as their attitude and aptitude are poor.

It doesn’t matter if you want to be a college president or an auto mechanic – your educational needs are specific. If you have advanced degrees and no ability to educate, inform, and encourage others, you’re not likely to end up as a college or university president. Similarly, if you are an auto mechanic who doesn’t have the latest education about newer cars and all of the computerized systems in them, you won’t reach the top of your potential and be successful in your field.

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There are some fields in which education isn’t particularly esteemed – professional sports is one of them. Young athletes are told to have an education “in case you get hurt,” but most college football players, for example, eschew their senior year (and graduation) for the NFL draft.

But consider a football player who majored in business during college (and graduated) and bettered himself with the specific-knowledge of retail sport related equipment. He would be in a much better place for success both in the NFL and in the lucrative world of celebrity-endorsements than if he’d had underwater basket-weaving for a major.

Additionally, if he was injured on the field and found retirement from professional football imminent, he not only has something to fall back on, but he has the trade of his name as he considers launching a piece of retail-sport equipment or a line of retail stores.

Education for a particular skill set is preceded by motivation. If you desire to succeed in your chosen field, you will pursue the education necessary to do so.

That ties in to your attitude. If you excel at your chosen field and can display a great grasp of the skill set necessary in your line of work, you WILL succeed, because competition for good-paying, skilled jobs continues on a downward slope.

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Feb 26

It’s All About Ship-Building

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Once you know the formula to success, it’s time to consider different avenues in which that formula should be put in to action. The main one you’ll find in every area of your life is relationships.

Why relationships? Because we are human beings, designed to interact with other human beings. This, by default, entails relationships. And also by default, if you don’t have appropriate skills to manage your relationships, you will fail miserably at whatever success you’re aiming for.

The first relationship you must consider is the one you have with yourself. If you don’t like yourself, chances are great you will project that dislike to others and your lack of self-appreciation will not propel you to success in any given field.

The higher your integrity is, the more you will like yourself. The more you like yourself, the better your relationships will be with others – from the inside out.

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Your family relationship is the next thing to examine. The most successful Harvard Business graduates (class of 1949, by percentages) had several things in common:

They had wives who supported their work and endeavors; women who were intelligent and able to share ideas and be a sounding board
They built their personal, family, and business lives on a foundation of integrity

Family relationships are extremely important as you consider your path to success. If you fail here, you will not succeed elsewhere – we’ve already covered that in depth.

Business relationships follow closely behind family relationships. They play a major role in the security and productivity of every individual involved in them, as well as the success and growth of the company.

You must also learn to manage your frustration as you deal with relationships. Because we are all human, we all have problem-areas and “sticking points” that will irritate and inflame others. If you can manage your frustration and turn a bad situation with an individual in to something you can learn from and make profitable, you will be that much farther ahead on your road to success.

Consider also, that the next person you meet is important. He or she might look like someone who cannot help you in your field, but then again, looks are deceiving. You never know when the person you assist might be able to assist you or report back to your boss what a great job you’re doing!

Summing up this section, you should be able to see how healthy family relationships, a willingness to go above & beyond at work, and an ability to consider the next person as important can have a monumental effect on your path to success. We cannot do it alone, and that mere fact means we must deal appropriately with people and relationships!

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Feb 25

Oh No, Not Another 5 Top Tips for Success

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Incorporate these skills into your strategy for success and you’ll move forward quicker than you ever dreamed!

  1. Hustle: Generally, people who make it big have one thing in common – they are dissatisfied with the status quo. They will not take what is “common” or “expected” and let that define their lives – they move past it and excel. You must work hard and hustle.
  2. Character: Someone coined the phrase, “character is what you do in the dark.” In other words, when no one is looking, will you behave differently than if someone was looking? If not, then you have character. If you are attacked, be tough—not hard. Don’t be a pushover, but be compassionate, gentle, and flexible – especially on procedure (not principle).
  3. Risk Taking: This isn’t gambling, it’s a willingness to be bold, hearty, and to push forward. People who refuse to take risks are definitely going to lose. If you refuse a new promotion because you’re not confident of your skills, you will likely be passed over when a different chance arrives. Don’t be afraid of rejection, just take it as part of life and you’ll find there’s nothing to be afraid of – especially in the word “no.” “No” is just another opportunity to find a way around an obstacle and to use creative problem-solving skills.
  4. Time Management: We all know that one minute has 60 seconds and that one hour has 60 minutes. One day has 24 hours, and one year has 365 days. But one year also has 525,600 minutes. We don’t think about a year in such small increments, but maybe we should. We waste minutes as if they’ll always be around, and the fact is that time wasted is time we can never get back. We might miss a deal or promotion of a lifetime by wasting just a few minutes. Proper time management is essential as you climb to success. Continue to break goals down in to manageable chunks—do that with relation to your day and the time you’ve been given. You’ll accomplish far more this way and you won’t regret using your time wisely.
  5. Master Non-Verbal Communication: It is said that our body language and facial expressions do much more communicating than our words will ever do. When the words that you speak don’t match the expressions on your face or the stance of your body, you confuse the listener and muddle your message. Be aware that when you try to “multi-task,” you often end up short-changing something, and the last thing you want is to short-change people. Don’t try to do too much at once—your willingness to do this tells people they aren’t important, even if you’re expressing your appreciation of their work and effort. Be aware of what message your body is sending off!
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Feb 24

The Right Mental Attitude for Success

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You must develop the right mental attitude on your road to success. Without being overly simplistic, think of “The Little Train Who Could.” Instead of having an “I Can’t” attitude, replace it with an “I Can!” attitude.

A positive outlook is necessary to see change coming, to be able to work with the change, and to make the most of whatever change comes down the pike in your life. If you expect change (but not from a vending machine!), you’ll be in a better position to accept it and make the most of it.

A fabulous book regarding change and positive attitude is “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson, MD.

In order to gain right thinking (being positive), you must decide to look at the bright side of life. Instead of seeing the cloud, see the silver lining in the cloud. Instead of seeing downsizing as a horrible thing that will plummet you in to bankruptcy and homelessness, consider it an opportunity to look for a better job and a chance to try new skills and career paths that you wouldn’t have had the opportunity to try before. Don’t be pollyannaish, but do consider all sides of a situation before you adopt a negative perspective.

In order to maintain a positive outlook, you must also be realistic. For example, if you’ve gained 30 pounds in the last 3 years, it would be highly unrealistic to expect to drop those 30 pounds in 3 weeks. If you take an honest and realistic assessment of your skills and goals, you’re much more likely to find success in whatever field or career best suits you.

Maintain a cautious optimism as you seek success, not be blindly optimistic about every situation. There are some situations in which positive thinking cannot overcome the situation you’re faced with.

Consider Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England Patriots; he’s a man who’s in excellent shape. But if he decided to trade in his helmet and pads for ballet toe shoes, he likely wouldn’t make it, despite his physique. Blind optimism also puts you at the mercy of con men and charlatans – your optimism must be tempered by context and relevance.

No matter what your abilities are (and they are fabulous!), using them realistically will get you much farther than not. Your right thinking, paired with your abilities, put you on a course for success – no matter what field you’re in!

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Feb 23

Achieving Your Goals by Increasing Creativity

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As you ponder your goal and determine the best course to achieve it, you will need some creative ways of thinking and facing challenges that will arise. The most creative-thinkers out there will encourage you to think outside your box and to consider even the wildest of ideas.

One way to do this is to “Wild Mind Brainstorm.” Wild-Mind is done by having a piece of paper and writing down EVERY idea that occurs to you about the situation you’re facing. Do NOT evaluate your ideas – just write them down. Do NOT consider something “ too silly” or “too dumb” to write down – just write it down!

Evaluate your ideas in a few days, but not when you’re writing them down. Consider these ideas much like a newborn baby. You must cradle that baby and hold it lovingly and help it grow to a responsible adult. The same goes for your new ideas. You might find that one idea you would consider to be the “silliest” turns out to be your key for unlocking the door you’re facing.

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Remember the guy who came up with the idea for Post-It Notes? The adhesive was discovered long before they found a use for it – and the person who said, “Let’s make some note pads that are small and can be easily removed,” was laughed at. But now – do you even see ONE office without Post-Its around? I have at least 6 pads of Post-Its in my desk drawer alone. There’s one in the kitchen, and one in the car.

Another way to increase your creativity is to be around others who are creative. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other.” If you hobnob with those who are known for creativity, it will wear off on you. And you will find new ways of looking at things and thinking about situations, as well.

You can find audio-books and speeches that will stir up your creative juices as well. Professional speakers and those who have “been there, done that” often hit the speaking-circuit and can pump fresh ideas and life in your goal and the ways you attain those goals. I prefer removing myself from the goal-achieving mode and moving to a truly creative outlet—the arts. You may not consider yourself artsy or think you have any ability in this realm, but it’s worth taking a lump of clay (or Play-Doh) and working with it.

You may find, as I do, that when I’m working on a hobby that I truly love, I free up a portion of my brain that was engaged in my problem-solving. When that happens, I typically find a potential solution to my dilemma. Artistic creativity often sparks other forms of creative-thinking, as it engages a different area of the brain than what we’re used to using. Pick up a paintbrush, a pencil, arrange some flowers, or begin a needlework project. You may find in colour and artistry you have a new lease on what you’re doing!

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